Frustrated

First blog in almost a year... life happens. I am happy to say that my husband returned safely from his deployment, and we have relocated to MO for his new job as a technician at an aviation unit. We were so pumped to be blessed with this amazing opportunity to start our lives over in a new place (and be closer to my niece and nephew)!

We moved to our new home back in February and have settled in very well. We finally have an "adult" looking house, and I think it is about time! We joined a church and have thoroughly enjoyed going, as well as making some new friends along the way. God definitely guided us in the right direction, and we couldn't be happier with the way things are going............

except this one little thing, trying to conceive (TTC). We both decided when he returned home that it was time to get our family started, regardless of what other people thought or think :P! We have been trying with no avail. I know that it takes time, but it is so frustrating! I got pregnant when I was 18 and not trying (which ended in a terrible tragedy, honestly I am lucky to be alive)... and now that I am ready for a baby, it seems like it will never happen. I know I am being a little bit dramatic, being that we haven't been trying too terribly long. It's just that I get frustrated with such happenings as this... late for my period by almost 2 weeks, 3 negative pregnancy tests and several days later my period finally starts. Why make me wait and wonder?  Thus... I am frustrated. Yes, I said it... I am frustrated. Not with God, but with myself. Isn't that what I was built for? To be able to conceive and bear children? So, then I think about all the things that could be wrong with me. BTW... my husband and I never were really "not" trying these last 3 years, but we have officially said we are trying.

So since we haven't had any success with pregnancy, I have been looking at adoption. WOW... too expensive. Will it ever happen for us?

The journey continues... TTC.