Winning!

So, I bet people wonder why my blog is named after a game. I will go ahead and give you my explanation. Phase 10 is not necessarily a game of skill. You can try your hardest to win, but if you aren't given the right cards, then you will be stuck at the same stage until you get them while other people are passing you by. That is how I view the world sometimes. I think about the cards I have been given and I don't think it is fair. Unlike Phase 10, life is not a game. We are all given different cards, but everyone gets bad cards once in a while. I look at people sometimes and think "Man... their life is perfect"... and a few years later they may deal with an unthinkable tragedy. All the cards in their hand weren't good either...but in the end, only one thing matters. There is not just one winner in the game of life, but everyone has the opportunity to "win" as long as they have Jesus Christ in their hearts.

I had to deal with Mother's Day yesterday. I still have my mother, and I got to spend it with her, but I also have a son, and I did not get to spend it with him. I have never spent a Mother's Day with him, nor will I ever have the chance to on this Earth. He is with His heavenly Father, and I know he feels loved. I have to remember that my son, Landon, is in the best possible place he could be, but I feel like I was dealt a bad hand of cards when I lost him. Honestly, I wasn't... I know it has felt like it for the last six years, but I was dealt a really good hand. God saved my life, and he took my son to heaven. I will always have Landon in my heart, and not a day will go by that I don't think about him, but I know that he is well taken care of and he is waiting for me on the other side of the gates. I will no longer view Mother's Day as a time for me to be sad about losing my son, but as a happy day to know that I gave birth to a son that was just too perfect for this earth :)

I have never been to see where Landon is buried, and to some people that may seem awful, but I don't want to think about him being gone, because in a way, he is always with me. I got his footprints tattooed on my ankle about 4 years ago to help with the healing process of losing him, but the day I got it I told myself that now he could always walk with me until I saw him again one day.

So just remember... just because you were dealt some bad things in your life, doesn't mean you lose. It means that you have more opportunities to let go and let God! He is going to help you win every time. It may not be your ideal way of winning, but He has a plan for you. He took Landon to heaven so that I could help other people that have lost children.

Landon James Stephens
Angel Date - September 4, 2006
You are forever in mommy's heart. I love you so much and can't wait to spend eternity with you :)